Failing Upward: Former Rep. Adam Kinzinger Finally Lands His Dream Job

Rich Koele /
Rich Koele /

We’ve been waiting for the past several months to learn where Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) was going to end up after leaving Congress. There were a ton of jokes that he’d get a job as a CNN commentator since Kinzinger would fit right in there with his left-leaning, fake conservatism. Well, guess what?

CNN has been flailing for the past two years with plummeting ratings, ever since Donald Trump left office. Don Lemon, Chris Cuomo, and other “top” talent at the network have been yanked off of primetime. In an effort to pull itself out of the sewers, the new CEO is trying to rebrand CNN as a “neutral” news source. And what better way to convince viewers that you’re neutral than hiring Adam Kinzinger as your new Senior Political Commentator!

CNN made the announcement the day after Kinzinger left Congress, surprising exactly no one. The only other option for him would have been to land a spot as the token fake conservative lady on “The View.”

It’s been said that it’s nearly impossible to be fired in Washington, DC these days. If any bureaucrat, congressional staffer, or Deep State shill for the Democrats does happen to lose their job, they quickly make a lateral move to another agency.

An FBI agent altered the contents of an email from the CIA in 2016 to make it look like Carter Page was a Russian spy working for the Trump campaign. Even though that fabrication was used to deceive the FISA court to spy on an American, the FBI attorney who made it up didn’t even get disbarred. Likewise, employees at the Environmental Protection Agency didn’t get fired when the Inspector General caught them looking at porn for 8 hours a day while being paid six-figure taxpayer-funded salaries.

While Adam Kinzinger did not end up at a federal agency, he has certainly landed at an institution that is now part of the federal apparatus. CNN was instrumental in fomenting the Russia collusion hoax from 2018 through 2018. CNN now has at least 15 on-air employees who were all former employees at the FBI or the CIA. Both MSNBC and CNN are literally crawling with feds from the intelligence agencies, making it virtually indistinguishable from the North Korean state propaganda outlet.

So, Kinzinger should fit right in. He was one of only a handful of “Republicans” who were dumb enough to get rolled by the Democrats on the Trump impeachment hearings. Every time a Republican politician betrays his base, he suddenly gains a strange new respect from the media. Sometimes the press even gives them a cool-sounding nickname, as they did with John “Maverick” McCain.
And as always, as soon as Kinzinger’s usefulness had worn out, the Democrat Party threw him under the bus. While Kinzinger was no doubt expecting to be rewarded by the Democrats for voting in favor of impeachment, the Democrats repaid him by gerrymandering his Illinois congressional district out of existence.

Kinzinger would have had to run for reelection for an open seat in a brand-new district to have any hope of staying in Congress. But with the way the Democrats in Illinois redrew the lines, Kinzinger found that his reelection prospects were impossibly out of reach. This happens every time the Judas Republicans help out the Democrats.

We’ll say this for Kinzinger: At least he was sharper than Liz Cheney when it came to the question of whether to run for reelection. She now holds the record for the most humiliating primary loss by an incumbent candidate in US history. That could have been Adam Kinzinger instead.

Congratulations to Kinzinger for finally landing that dream job at CNN! We’re truly happy for him because now we’ll never have to hear from him again.